JP's Description: This is the nearest I hope to get to making an artist's coffin.
I'd found a well-paying job washing dishes, rented a nice apartment, and had recently taken on the role of the proud father... but was infinitely bored.
I'd drifted away from contact with the art world and was afraid this would be the last piece I'd ever do.
In a way, I suppose I look on every work I do now potentially the last one ever.
Lacking a basic confidence in this stuff means I'd spend inordinate amounts of time testing my commitment to an ideal of the artist. My concern would be to fail that test, and drop the brushes once and for all.
This was a time that I'd come closest to doing just that.
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